We will miss you Baba

Jason's grandmother went to be with the Lord on March 25th. We will miss her so much but know she is rejoicing with the Lord and are thankful she is no longer in pain. She went to be with Him with a smile on her face. The last week was very difficult for our family. She had hospice care in her home which was hard to watch, but we are thankful for the precious time we got to spend with her. Just a few days before she passed away she spoke with Jason and I and his brother and girlfriend and wanted to give us advice. Some of her last words were reminders to Look for the Lord first in everything we do, not compromise with the world, and to learn to compromise with our spouse. Many of her last moments when she was awake were spent saying verses and singing hymns that were so obviously written in her heart. What a testimony to her life.

Baba is Ukrainian for grandmother. Jason's maternal grandparents are both Ukrainian. Both of my grandmothers past away when I was very young, so to have her at our wedding and share many of our first memories together as newlyweds has been so precious to me. Baba has been such a special influence in my life the last 4 years since they moved to Texas and Jason and I married. We have spent so many wonderful holidays in their home. She is a beautiful women with a heart of gold. I am so inspired by her legacy of love and faithfulness to the Lord and her family. Her smile and sweet hugs have brightened so many days. She was always filled with joy that was contagious to others.

A few months before she passed away I was sitting with her one night and was able to share the story of how Jason and I fell in love and God led us to marry each other...It was so special to her to hear that. We talked about many more things, including how she was able to share her testimony and the gospel with a young nurse who had come to take care of her. She had prayed over her and given her a large print bible she could no longer read...This same woman preached the gospel through street ministry in New York City in her younger days and snuck bibles into Europe many years ago to take back to her family. She told me many times how special that conversation was to her, but I was so blessed by it as well and am so thankful for that night.

She planted seeds in so many of the lives around her, and brought so much love and joy to the world! Baba wanted her memorial service to be a celebration of her life. At the service this past week, each of the grandchildren and children spoke, making it so personal and special. I included a couple of pictures below from the slide show Jason and I put together. It was so much fun to go through and find pictures of her as a young woman! She had so much style and personality! We have been blessed and have became better people by her influence.

Baba is the youngest girl (just right of center)

Love her style!

This was when she and Jason's grandfather (Gigi) first met

Their wedding day...They were married 55 years and 9 months!-

Baba and Jason in Florida

An amazing grandmother!

Baba and Gigi on their 50th wedding anniversary...Still has the same look of joy!

Our wedding day!

First Married Christmas with Jason's family

Baba celebrated her 90th birthday in January! Jason make her favorite cake...Chocolate!

Thank You Lord

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:4-7

Thanksgiving...A day to be thankful.

In the last few years I have been challenging myself to be more thankful for the many blessings in my life. We take so many things for granted...big & little, and the day to day. I've tried to take some time as I drive to work each morning and thank God, for breath and life, and most of all eternal life. That no matter what I have faced in the past, in the coming day, or the future I have the promise of eternal life in Heaven with my Heavenly Father.

I thank him for my amazing husband he created for me, my family, my cousin who is truly a sister by heart, and friends who lift me up daily. I thank him for my job, which although has its days that are truly challenging I am so thankful to have a job in this economy where so many don't. And not just any job but a job He called me to where I can share my passion of dance which He gave me as well. A job that is a ministry for me to reach out to young girls, and hopefully touch their lives and make a difference in helping them to grow into strong young women.

I thank him for our home that we have been so blessed with in the past year.

So often we forget, myself included as we go about the rest of the day, how blessed we are, and so I am thankful this year for all this and much more.

Three years from November 21 my cousin and I were in an awful wreck, an experience that changed me as a person...It is hard to think back to what a hard day that was and all the hard times we've faced since then. But even in the shock and pain and the struggle we've faced, I am thankful for God's miracles, his strength, his truths brought to life, the courage he's given, the love and perfect peace he's passed on in the toughest moments since then, and how He has brought His glory from it all. I don't know that I'll ever be able to look back and be thankful for what happened, but my understanding is so small compared to his.

But through it all, I am thankful for his provision. And I am thankful for the future which he already knows...all that is to come in the coming year.

Thank you Lord.

What are you thankful for?

Quick Update from the Metz's

Just wanted to let you know Mandy came home from the hospital today! Thank you Lord! Please continue to pray for strength during her recovery! Thanks for all the prayers!

Also, they installed our granite countertops and vanities for the master and secondary bath in today. Of course we forgot the camera, but we're going back to get pictures tomorrow so I'll post them soon!

Please keep praying!

Just wanted to update...Mandy had a rough night and day...She lost alot of blood when the vein broke during surgery, and they had to give her two blood transfusions today...We are still hopeful she will come home tomorrow...Keep her in your prayers please!

Update on Mandy's Surgery

Sorry for the late update, but I am just now getting home. Thank you all for your prayers! So far it looks as if many were answered! They were able to take the rod out of her leg. They also put the plate in the front of her ankle and several screws. They took a bone graft from her knee and put that inside her ankle joint. They doctor also said he didn't see any signs of infection. The only real problem they encountered during the surgery was a blood vessel that broke and they had to repair it, which took awhile. They are still watching her blood pressure which was a little low but is coming back up, so keep that in your prayers.

They gave her nausea medication before during and after the surgery, and so far she had a much better reaction to the anesthesia. Please keep praying that she will not have nausea. She is staying overnight, and will stay tomorrow, and possible tomorrow night depending on how she feels. The doctor said that her knee will cause her some pain for awhile because of the bone graft, so please pray for relief from pain in her knee.

Overall, we were very happy and now just have to pray for a full recovery, for bone growth in her ankle joint, and for the fusion to work this time. She was doing well tonight, but I know it will be a long hard recovery so keep those prayers coming!

Thank you each so much for your love and prayers. I have passed it on to her, and she greatly appreciates it! Love you all!

Prayers for Wednesday

***Update...Mandy's surgery was moved to 11:oo AM...Just wanted to let you know...Prayers are GREATLY appreciated!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just wanted to let you know Mandy is having another surgery on Wednesday morning. It is a pretty big one, so your prayers are really appreciated.

They are redoing the ankle fusion, because it didn't work the first time. They are going back in to take out the rod in her leg, put in a plate and several screws in her ankle. They will have to cut through the skin graft, and as with any big surgery there is a chance of infection. They are not doing this one orthoscopically like the last, so it will be a harder recovery.

Her surgery will be at 9am on Wednesday morning. Please pray for peace for her right now, so that she will not be as anxious before the surgery. Please also pray for the doctors to know exactly what to do and how to do it, and the be able to execute it without any problems. Please pray that she will not have any reactions to the anethesia. And afterwards pray for healing, bone growth in her ankle, strength, and pray that her pain is relieved. Pray for encouragement in her spirit. This will be a longer recovery than the last, but pray it happens as quickly as possible and that it works this time.

Through all that has happened we have seen God's miracles, and we thank him immensly for each one. It is hard though to deal with continued dissapointment in so many surgeries not working out as hoped. I have seen her be so strong for so long, and she has fought so hard to overcome this. I know God is the great physician and healer. Please pray that he will take over in the operating room and guide the doctors. And pray for His healing power to touch her leg and heal it and for bone to grow as she begins recovery.

Throughout the past week I had been anxiously thinking and praying about the surgery and Mandy. Sunday morning during worship we sang "Mighty To Save," and God spoke to me through the song and reminded me that He is mighty to save her.

Savior.
He can move the mountains.
My God is Mighty to save.
He is Mighty to save.
Forever.
Author of salvation.
He rose and conquered the grave.
Jesus conquered the grave.

I am thankful that the same God who has the power to move mountains, to part the Red Sea, to take on the sin of all who believe and conquer death and roll that stone away, has the power to heal Mandy. And as hard as it is for me to watch her go through this, I must remember that He is the only one who will help her through this, and I must trust Him and know that He will not give her more than she can handle and that must have faith in him, and be patient to see Him do it in His time and in His way.

Please remember to pray Wednesday morning at 9 am. Thank you for supporting Mandy and our family through this! Love you all!

It Was Love

I wanted to post a link to a beautiful blog entry written with an insightful perspective about bearing the trials and burdens we face in life. Please take a moment to read this...

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/04/it-was-love.html

A Beautiful Story of a Marriage and Testimony

I subscribe to an online newsletter called Marriage Memo, and once a month they send out devotionals and stories, related to marriage. This month was a beautiful story about a couple married for 83 years, and how their marriage and lives touched another. We don't necessarily think each day of how how our everyday actions, our marriages, and how we interact with our spouses becomes a picture of Christ to those around us, particularly those that do not know Christ. It was a reminder to me of how my everyday life is a walking testimony to all those I come in contact with me...

“I’ve Never Once Stopped Loving You” by Mary May Larmoyeux

Sometimes our lives are affected by unexpected and unlikely encounters. For Rich Frischkorn, one of these encounters occurred when he was a young man.

Rich patrolled a neighborhood where a couple in their late 90s lived. He regularly parked his cruiser under a massive ficus tree growing at the corner of the elderly couple’s property. With its huge spread of branches, the tree provided welcome shade as he sat in his patrol car and completed his daily reports. If the elderly couple were out in their yard, they’d walk over to him and talk.

As time passed, he noticed there was something very different about the aging husband and wife—the way they looked at one another and smiled … the way they worked in their yard together … the way their hands interlocked on their evening strolls. One day the young deputy sheriff observed the elderly man mowing a neighbor’s yard. Almost 100 years of age, he later told Rich that he was helping because the woman was “too old” to mow her own grass. Rich watched the couple pick up mail for neighbors who were out of town. He saw them drive friends to a store or doctor’s office. He anticipated their offers of cold lemonade or tea on hot afternoons.

He wondered about the source of the couple’s love and care. Over time he learned the answer: All was done in Christ’s name.

Their curiosity about Rich’s spiritual condition touched him. They’d often comment that he was in a dangerous job and ask, “Do you know where you will spend eternity?” He’d answer that he’d probably end up in hell. And they would say that he could avoid that. One day when Rich was filling out reports, the elderly woman tapped on the window of his cruiser. She held a vase with freshly picked flowers. She told him to look at the flowers—really look. Then she asked if he thought the flowers could have been created by chance. “No,” she told the young officer. “God made these for us to look at, marvel at, and wonder.”

All Rich could do was gaze at the woman with the lined face and say that she was right.
Day after day Rich patrolled the neighborhood. He watched the aging couple pull weeds together in their flowerbeds, never more than an arm’s length apart. One would reach out and touch the other. They’d look at each other … smile and nod … and then go back to pulling weeds. Rich thought, How much in love.

Rich and the couple became more than friends. They treated him as part of their family. He joined 200-300 people at their eighty-first, eighty-second, and eighty-third anniversary celebrations. He laughed to himself when he realized that their children were in their 60s and 70s and some of their grandchildren were in their early 50s.

As the years went by, Rich feared that the couple’s time on earth was short. He dreaded the day when one of them would pass away. At that time in Florida, if someone died at home a deputy had to come and do a report.

Sure enough, one evening Rich received a phone call saying there had been a death at the elderly couple’s house. Wanting to be anywhere but their home, he pulled into the driveway.
He knocked on the door of their two-story house with cedar siding. “Who is it?” the wife asked.
“It’s the Sheriff’s Department.”
“Rich, is that you?”
“Yes, it is,” he answered.
“Oh, praise the Lord; I’ve been praying a friend would come.”

Rich stepped into the house and saw the elderly couple sitting side by side on the couch. She wore a faded, swirled-patterned dress and her husband had on work pants and a checkered, short-sleeved shirt. His hands were folded in his lap, his chin was on his chest, and he had a pleasant look on his face—as though he were in the middle of a good dream.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Rich asked. She said her husband had been sick the last couple of weeks. That evening they were watching the news and he started having a little trouble breathing. She asked if he wanted her to phone the doctor and he replied, “No, everything is going to be fine.”

But it wasn’t fine—his breathing got worse. She rose to call an ambulance, and he grabbed her hand with unusual strength. “You may not believe me, Rich,” she continued, “but he was a young man again. And his face was just glowing and he was smiling and he said, ‘Don’t go—sit here next to me.’” So she sat back down and she heard these final words from her husband: “In all these years together, I’ve never once stopped loving you. And I love you more today than all of the days gone by. But my Father is calling now and I have to go home. But we’ll be together again soon, and until then know that I’m waiting for you and know that I love you. Good bye.”
With that, his head dropped onto his chest and he was gone.

“He’s in heaven with our Lord and Savior and I will be, too,” she told Rich. “And one day you can be there.” The ambulance crew arrived shortly after their conversation. Rich remembers her telling them, “He’s home with the Lord. He’s home with Jesus.”

Although more than 30 years have passed since Rich’s life intersected with the elderly couple, their example was stamped in living color on his heart. Rich eventually gave his life over to the Lord and became a Christian. “They planted the seeds [of faith] in my heart,” he says.
Whenever he talks about the elderly couple, he mentions their rock-solid faith and how they lived it day after day. “They were always witnessing and reaching out to others,” he says, “and yet they were never preachy, never pushy, it was just something I wanted to emulate.”

The last time Rich saw the old woman she was more than 100 years old. She was on her hands and knees pulling weeds in her flowerbeds. “Every once in a while,” Rich says, “she’d reach out with her arm … smile and nod … and then go back to pulling weeds.”

A better week...

I am glad to say this week held much more good news than last! Thank you all for your prayers.

An update: Our band director's son had an amazing recovery and was up walking and talking towards the end of the week, and actually was able to go home! He will have a long road ahead with outpatient rehab, but we are thankful for his recovery, and amazed by the power of our God!

Also, my JV team had their first game on Thursday! I had knots in my stomach all day I was so nervous for them. They did very well though. They were very sharp and together! I feel a big relief we made it through our first game and the weather held out! I haven't gotten any pictures of the team yet...(So busy!) but I hope to get some to post next game, so check back!

I do however have a picture of the Varsity team, which I am an assistant for...Aren't they cute? They played in Frisco yesterday and also gave an excellent performance which the other team's side ooo'ed and aa'ed over! :-)





I am in the process of planning a baby shower for one of my best friend's in October...I have a lot of good ideas I've gathered, but if anybody has any ones they would like to share I would love your input of any cute decorations, food, or games you done or seen before!

Upcoming posts...(in no particular order)
1. Pictures from Jason's Parent's 30th Anniversary party!
2. Pictures from my JV and Varsity Teams
3. My AMAZING husband/baker!

Heavy Heart, Amazing God

Well, I made it through the first week of school again! More on that later...It's been a rough week for many of those that I know.

Tuesday, we got a call that one of the girls on our Varsity Team was taking her dad to the hospital. He is 39 and did not have any prior health problems, but they found him not breathing that morning. They rushed him to the hospital and kept him on life support for much of the day, but finally took him off late in the afternoon. It was her second day of school her senior year, and she lost her father. The team has been amazing about being there for her. We all attended the viewing on Thursday. Please pray for her as she goes through this hard time.

When I left the viewing I got a call from one of the mom's of a girl on my JV team that her grandfather had passed away. She was supposed to see him for the first time in awhile this weekend.

Both girls could use as much support as possible right now, your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Friday night I spoke with one of my best friends who lost her job earlier that day unjustly. She is an amazing woman who has dedicated much of her life the past 7 years to serving children and growing the program, so this is a very painful and frustrating time. Please pray for God to give her peace and surround her in His love as he guides her on a new path.

Saturday morning I received word that the two sons of the head band director were involved in an accident with a drunk driver the night before. One, a freshman in high school was treated and as I understand released yesterday. His older son however, a senior in high school, was care flighted to the hospital and was in ICU in a medically induced come for what they thought would be 72 hours because they believed he had brain hemorrhaging.

I did not know it but the family used to attend the church my parents are now attending. This morning the whole church took time to stop and pray for him. Less than 30 minutes later they received word he had woken up on his own and told his parents he wanted to go home. Praise God!!! It gave me chills when I heard it.

Whenever I hear about situations and accidents like this it truly makes me stop, and think back to our accident. I know the feelings and the fear and pain the family is going through. I am still so eternally grateful for all of the people that prayed for Mandy and my family during that time. I was overwhelmed with the response in prayer that we received in that time. I know that truly made a difference then and once again, we have seen the power of prayer come to life.

From experience I know that the worst isn't over for his son and family in the coming days, weeks, months. and possibly years, so I ask that you please, please continue pray for him. His name is Justin. I will keep you updated on the situation.

So, it has been an emotionally draining week as my heart has hurt for these people. But I know I am where I am supposed to be right now, and even through all of this, and somewhat even more because of it, I am confident in the plan and purpose God has for me now.

Speaking of school, I think I managed pretty well this week. I am floating from classroom to classroom, upstairs to downstairs, from one side of the building to the other each period, and I was anxious about how that would work out last week. I think I have a system now. I have a classroom in a box. Ha ha! You think I am kidding, but I'm totally not. It is teaching me to be more creative and flexible in my teaching.

The varsity drill team had their first football game this past week and their performance was wonderful! They did such a good job, I was so thrilled for them, and excited to be a part of it all. My JV team's first performance is this week...I hope we are ready in time! Also, although this is small compared to my other prayer requests, please pray that the tropical storm that is supposed to arrive in our area on Thursday doesn't make my girls not be able to perform that night. They have worked so hard all summer, I really hope we are able to pull it off, and that the weather cooperates!

It's been a trying week, but I believe through it all that I serve an amazing God who is watching over and caring for each of these situations. Well, that's all for now. Thanks for praying and I will keep you updated. I am working on getting some pictures up soon as well.

Go Big!

http://www.glocal.net/blog/comments/faith-the-1-missional-value/

This past Sunday I was challenged by a thought that our minister presented us with...He was speaking on how the church Jason and I are attending has grown so much and done so much mission work throughout the world that other churches are now asking them to help them follow this mold or pattern you could say. But how he didn't feel there was some 10 step pattern they could give anyone to follow...What made the difference was that they from the very beginning were willing to have faith to do the unthinkable and go to Vietnam to do God's work. They didn't start small and work up, they started with something that was so big, that they weren't sure they could accomplish it, but they had to have faith and trust God. And in doing that, in going big, I guess you could call it, they pushed their limits from the very beginning. And in pushing themselves, in being willing to do the unthinkable, reaching out to local ministries became so natural, because they had already done so in such a large way.

That started me thinking about how willing I am to go big for God. Last year when I was looking for my first teaching position I had found a place where I really felt like was right for me. However, Jason and I were two weeks from getting married, neither of us had jobs, and we had no idea where we would be living when we came back from our honeymoon!


(Side note: Good is an amazing provider...In one week he provided jobs and helped us find our first home! It was certainly a lesson of his provision for us in the beginning of our marriage!)

I had not felt very anxious about not having a job/home. I had truly felt peace that God would provide and take care of us in his timing until that 2 week mark hit, and then along with all the craziness of the weeks leading up to a wedding, I started to worry...

I had interviewed at several places and really felt a strong pull to one. It was a dance position, and I felt very comfortable in the interview and with the people I had met at the school. However, I had some holdups with when I would be allowed to take my dance certification test, which was holding up them pursuing me as a candidate. In the meantime I got this great offer from another well respected school district, and with a feeling of responsibility as an adult dependent on my husband and myself, I felt like I could not turn this other offer down with no guarantee of another job.

I had a very challenging year, but it certainly taught me a lot about calling myself to a higher level as a teacher. I also learned a lot about myself. In facing very challenging times, from many trials and errors I learned about my priorities and how to handle very challenging times where I frequently felt in over my head. Unfortunately many of these times I chose to try to press on and conquer it out of my own will and determination instead of falling into the arms of my Savior. I am very thankful for the lessons I learned. I know that that experience happened for a reason, and pray that I was able to touch many of my students' lives, as I know they touched mine.


This year I had the opportunity to find out the position I had felt called to originally was open again, and was blessed to receive the job I have today.

I do believe that as adults sometimes we have to make do with what we have presented to us, and we make our decisions with the information we have at the current time.

I do believe I God molded me and used me where I was.


But thinking back on Sunday, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had been more patient and had enough faith to continue to trust that God would provide in me passing my test and in waiting for this job.

I have had times in the last few years when I have doubted how God was providing for myself in my job and others in my family after the accident. I never doubted that he was taking care of me or them, I just didn't feel like I agreed with how it was being done.

I came to a point where God convicted me to give up my pride in doing things myself, and in questioning his plan. I broke down. I asked forgiveness. And then that morning I felt he called me to give it up, it was amazingly so easy to give it away.

I have yearned for being nearer to God for quite some time, but am in need of continually working on my discipline in doing so.

I felt him speak to my heart Sunday, although I'm not sure for what yet..."If I call you, will you go big for me? Will you continue to trust me in my provision and have faith in my plan for you? That I will take care of you? Will you be encouraged in what I have for you? Will you take joy in it?"

I am blessed right now to believe I am fulfilling a purpose he called me to my freshman year of college as a drill team instructor. I feel a sense of belonging and a call to make a difference.

I'm not sure what God has in store for my path this year or for my life...But he quieted my spirit this past Sunday with the idea from our pastor that if I trust Him on the path that I see in front of me, He will lead me into a journey that is more than I could ever imagine or dream of. And if I trust him in the big things he calls me to do, I will also trust him in the small.

So I want to commit again to give of the reigns and trust God in where He is leading me, and that if He calls me to go big I will go without hesitation and be patient and trust in his timing. And that as times get hard I will fall to him for renewal of my spirit.

Women of Faith

My cousin Jill left Sunday morning for a mission trip to Turkey. She will be there for the next few weeks working with a team of women from her church to work alongside many Turkish women in encouraging them in their faith and hopefully bringing more people to come to know our Savior. This can be dangerous, as the Turkish women's lives are at risk daily for practicing their faith.

The team has established a blog with specific prayer requests. I would encourage you to check it out, and continue to check back to it over the next few weeks, as these women proclaim the gospel among the nation of Turkey.

http://turkishcoldcuts.blogspot.com/

Suffering

I found a link to this blog through a friend of a friend, and these words were so beautiful and spoke so much to something I have been struggling with in my heart for the past year and a half that I had to post it...Please read!

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-deep.html

"The image of Jesus being mocked while he bled and suffered was unbearable today. More so than any other time I have read the story. His words, His shame, His pain...His love is deeper than I can fathom. If you want to feel the Holy Spirit fill you, try something one day. Maybe today if you can make the time. Start by praying for God to reveal Himself in a new way to you, and then read through these words of agony and death, and imagine your face as what He saw. You were worth it. He still believes that. I hope you do too. When God turned away from His Son, and darkness crept across Calvary, He knew your face, your heart, your hurts. They are forever hidden within His wounds.

It always makes me laugh when Abby and Ellie watch Sleeping Beauty. They have seen it no less than 20 times, and yet, when it is time for Aurora's finger to touch the spinning wheel, they cover their eyes and ask over and over, "What is going to happen to her?" The truth is that they know what is going to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. There is time between her bleeding and her waking up. The in-between is where the doubt creeps in. Where you think that evil might just win, and that the great rescue will be stifled.

I know that He will raise up, He will conquer, but when I read about the cross I want to close my eyes until the in-between is over. Today, as I read each scripture, I was struck by something I have never put too much emphasis on before. Jesus did not return to His followers as a healed man. He had scars that told the story, that brought Thomas to belief. He was alive, fully alive, and yet, not unscathed. God chose to use these wounds to remind the world what He had overcome. It seems like if I were the writer of the story, I would heal them completely. Really show people what kind of power I had. Just make it look like it never happened...complete restoration. This isn't what God chose for Christ, and it isn't what He chooses for any one of us. If we are called to suffer in the name of Jesus, we bear scars as well. He doesn't hide them when trouble has passed, but rather He allows our paths to cross with those who want to touch them, to believe in them, to fall into the arms of the one who allowed them to be inflicted.

This is why I write to you all.

I have prayed many, many times that the eyes that read these words will run their fingers along the wounded hands of Christ, letting His suffering tell you the depth of love He has for you.

This life is not about being healed.

It's about bearing wounds for the sake of the One who bore them for us. For you.

As a psychologist, I want to help people face these hard things. To turn them into beautiful gifts to be given back to the Lord.

It is as simple as recognizing that God has chosen your suffering for a purpose, and the splendor of His plan begins to be revealed as we trust Him to do that.

Our scars tell His story to those who need to know HIM. Just a thought to ponder on...

We Must All Show Up

It has been awhile since my last post...I have been super busy! I took my students to the Texas Association of Future Educators State Conference this weekend. They did really well, and won a whole bunch of awards. I was very proud of them! I am still recovering though from the stress and lack of sleep that go along with taking an overnight trip (2 nights!) with kids...It's exhausting! Anyways, here is a picture from the conference...While at the conference, I got to here the National Teacher of the Year speak, and she was incredibly inspirational! Education has changed alot over the years, even since I was in school. Today we focus so much on test scores and measuring success, that sometimes we lose the most important component...The relationships we must form with our students in order to figure out how we can help them reach their goals and dreams. One thing that struck me most was a story about her dad who was also a teacher. Some one had told her about a student that her dad had in class that had had alot of issues and was very close to dropping out of school, but his parent moved him to a new school. In this new school, the student was placed in her dad's woodworking class. The student was so imspired by her dad that he went on not only to graduate from high school, but also receive a college degree in civil engineering. The amazing thing about her story was that when she told her dad, he was just as shocked. His response was that this student was not one of those that you see immediate success in during the year while you are teaching him. Her dad had felt like he wasn't sure if he had done enough to help this kid graduate or make it in life. One great point she made was that all too often teachers do not see the difference they are making in student's lives down the line. I have found this to be very true this year. I often work with students who I do not always feel/know if I am doing the right things, but I do the best job I can for them, and hope that in the long run, somewhere down the way I have planted a seed that they can develop and grow.

I have been very blessed to have a few of those cherished moments this year though when I have seen or been told the difference that I have made, and those are definitely the ones that keep me going on my hardest days.

Last semester I lost a student from my Ready, Set, Teach program who was a senior. She passed away suddenly over the weekend due to a long term heart condition. It was very difficult. The week before I had just seen her teach a lesson to the third grade class she worked in and she had done an amazing job preparing her lesson and interacting witht he kids. For you teachers out there she hit almost every part of the lesson cycle, which is a feat for a high school student in my book. Watching her I was so proud of her, and I felt like I could finally see that I had been able to give a student something that they could take with them and use to be successful in life. A week later when she passed away I struggled with the loss of a young life and future teacher who had the ability to impact so many lives.

Over the next few weeks, God revealed many truths to my aching heart...With the outpour of love and sympathy from her friends and classmates at her school and at the school she worked atI realized that my student didn't need to go to college and get a degree and have heer own classroom to make a difference. She made a huge difference in so many of her friends, classmates, and students lives already that you wouldn't believe it. It wasn't about a loss of potential impact...It was about doing what you are called to do by God when He calls you to do it...It was about showing up and being obedient. That lesson the week before and semester she worked in the classroom was the opportunity and the time God had given her to fulfill her dream of being a teacher and make a difference in others' lives. And she did it to the utmost of her ability. And without me even realizing it, I had been called to plant and nurture that seed in her. I am honored and thankful to have had her as a student and to learn that lesson early on...

As teachers we never know how or when our students are going to use the knowledge, skills, and life lessons that we pass on to them, but we can plant the seed, nurture it, and do what we have been called to do in our student's lives, to have the privilege of making a difference in the lives of many others and helping them to achieve their dreams and in turn inspire others.

This is a message to all of us...We only have a limited time on this Earth to do what our God put us here to do...We have opportunities and we make choices as we walk with Him. We must prepare as he leads us, even for the unknown, and show up each time He calls us to, because we never know what difference he has for us to make or what purpose he has for us to fulfill in His kingdom at any given time.

Dancing Before Jesus

I saw this tonight on TV and thought it was awesome and wanted to share it!

Alive Music & Dance with John Tesh

I have danced for most of my life. It is a gift and passion that God blessed me with, and a refuge I would turn to in times of stress to release and let go. I minored in dance in college and was given the opportunity to choreograph, etc. I have lately missed this passion of mine this year...

I used to attend dance competitions and conventions each year, one of which being Tremaine in Dallas. I took several classes over the years with Doug Caldwell, an amazing dancer, choreographer, and inspirational man.

I remember my senior year, I had been going through a time when I had dated a guy on and off for a year or so, and after several break-ups began to learn personally for myself, where to put my worth and belief in myself, in my God. I remember a particular class I went to of Doug's where I danced to a song with lyrics that I felt as if I were living out at the moment, and I began to draw on personal life experiences and see dance in a new light as a way to express my feelings, my life, and experiences. It was such a healing and relieving experience. I always remember walking away from many such dance classes, exhausted, but calmed and full of peace and a quiet energy and renewal of my spirit.

Later in college, I joined a Christian sorority and attended many retreats with my sorority sisters, where we would have speakers and fellowship with one another. These weekends I cherished as a chance to get away from everyday life and connect and focus on my Savior and Redeemer. I always came back with a filled heart and blessed with amazing times of worship and solitude with my God.

Sometime in college I had the idea of how amazing it would be to combine the two. To create a retreat for young girls high school or college age that would involve dance classes with leaders and teachers that could take the dance, the movement, the lyrics, and turn them into devotionals. How renewing this would be! It has been my private dream...This video reminded me of this, because I have always wanted to choreograph a dance to "I Can Only Imagine." I remember my freshman year in college when this song came out, I was growing leaps and bounds in my personal relationship with Him, and "Will I dance before you Jesus or in awe of you be still?" rang true to my heart.

I Can Only Imagine Video

I am overjoyed at the thought of one day dancing before my Lord!

Sacrifice of our Self

The last two years of my life have been a roller coaster to say the least. They have been filled with some of the greatest joys and sorrows that I have faced in my life. There have been many times of rejoicing and praise, and many others of fear and sorrow. My love for my husband grew so great during this time, and we have shared two of the most special moments in our relationship when Jason asked for my hand in marriage and in our union on our wedding day. I shared many moments with some of my best friends and roommates in college that I will forever treasure. I was able to experience the love of my God, my Bridegroom and have a glimpse of the glory to come as I prepared for our wedding day and relished every second of it as the bride of Christ and of my Bridegroom, Jason, on June 23, 2007...

I also faced one of the biggest internal challenges that I have ever faced. In November of 2007 I was in a car accident with my cousin and best friend on our way home for Thanksgiving. I won't go into great detail about the accident, but in short, due we think to high wind currents, I lost control of the car while passing an eighteen wheeler. My car swerved back and forth several times, then turned to face oncoming traffic, and rolled 3/4 roll into the median of the side road. I was not injured other than bumps and bruises. My cousin however was badly injured on both her left and right legs. They care flighted her to Fort Worth, and she is still now recovering from this accident and trying to move on with her life. That first few days were very touch and go, and I can't describe the shock, horror, and fear that I felt. God provided for my family and Amanda in so many ways answering prayers of many people around us, who I am eternally grateful for.

To say Mandy and I are close would be the understatement of the century. From the time we were babies our parents said we shared every toy, every experience, and were two peas in a pod. I cannot describe my relationship with Mandy other than to say that we have been "sisters" for life, and I do not know of another playmate, friend, or confidant, who I have had the privilege to share my heart with throughout life. This whole thing hit me hard and I struggled with it, and continue to. I did not understand why this happened to us and to her.

I have never in my life had a time when I was so angry and frustrated with God and at the same time, so thankful and in awe of the miracles he was continually giving and providing. I had to go back to Lubbock to finish school, and it was the hardest thing in the world to me to be that far away, from my family and Mandy during this time.

Since then, I have watched my best friend struggle with and overcome insurmountable odds, and I know the only way she is getting through this is with the healing hand of God. It has been and will continue to be a hard journey physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I do not know anyone stronger or braver than her in facing these odds and living what she has been through.

I have and still struggle with many internal battles...Questioning how this could happen, why it would happen, what good could possibly come of this...and on, and on, and on. Satan has been battling for my peace and trust during this time. I still have fear when driving, I have fear when I hear ambulances and helicopters that my loved ones are safe. I have anxiety and worry over Mandy's healing process and wish more than anything that I could do something to help or change things for her.

My dad has been and continues to be a sounding board and rock in this time. He shared with me a verse early on that I took to heart and has carried me through many of the hardest moments.

Philippians 4:6-7.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

We've heard this a lot in our lives but to truly practice it can be a challenge. The revelation has come in the second part of the verse..."the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding".....

We know the verse "All things work together for the good of the kingdom of God" but I couldn't possibly see how this could be good, and to be honest I don't know that I ever will. I have come to terms with the fact that even one day when I am in Heaven God may not answer this question...But He doesn't have to...He is God, He is I AM. I don't have to understand, and I may not ever be warranted to by His understanding. But I must trust Him...

Which leads me to my true struggle since the accident. We all want to trust God that He will take care of us and provide for us and protect us. But I have been run over with the realization that he may provide, care for, and protect me and my friends and family, in a way that I don't necessarily like, agree with, or desire. Though we believe in Him and trust Him, we live in a fallen world and at times He allows things to happen to us that are scary, dangerous, and inspire fear and deep pain.

And the hardest thing I have found is to continue to rejoice in Him during these times. I struggled with pushing Him away in my personal intimate relationship with Him, giving reasons such as time, etc. I have in a sense afraid to put my whole trust in his provision and protection of me.

In the last few weeks and month I have had worship experiences , experiences while driving, watching TV, and during other random times and when God has spoken to me calling me to draw back to Him. I have cherished these moments and my heart is opening to his calling. I miss the intimacy that I desired each day in a continual "conversation" that I would hear and speak to him in my past.

I say all this, because I just finished listening to some one speak of times of testing and suffering in our lives. It is during these times that God becomes real to us in a way that we never imagined. We can choose to run or we can choose to stand with the strength of God. The person I was listening to spoke of Genesis 22. I have heard this story many times, but recent events brought greater light to it. I have known two people whom I went to Tech with in Phi Lamb that have had their families lose precious young baby girls in a sudden short time. I think of my "niece" Katy, who is really my cousin's daughter, and I cannot imagine how I would feel if our family lost her. I cannot imagine more the pain and sorrow that the parents of these children feel. But what I cannot even begin to fathom, is the trust that Abraham placed in God in preparing to give his son up to God. I am in awe of his Trust for God's provision, and wonder if I was faced with the same, would I be able to do it? But the truth is that we are all in God's hands anyways. Our children are ours on loan from God, and we must remember we all all first and foremost His children.

I want that trust. I want that intimacy. I want God's perfect peace that surpasses all understanding of this crazy fallen world. But to have this I must sacrifice my self, my desires and my beliefs for how my life should be, because we really become disappointed and frustrated with God's plan for our life, when it does not fit with ours. If however, we seek God's plan and purpose first, we can build that intimate relationship that establishes that trust and rest in His peace.

In this time that I was listening to some one speak, they closed with a prayer and a reminder that spoke true to my healing heart...

God is the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)...and we can be confident of this that He who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6)

What hope there is in these verses and our Lord Jesus Christ!