Go Big!

http://www.glocal.net/blog/comments/faith-the-1-missional-value/

This past Sunday I was challenged by a thought that our minister presented us with...He was speaking on how the church Jason and I are attending has grown so much and done so much mission work throughout the world that other churches are now asking them to help them follow this mold or pattern you could say. But how he didn't feel there was some 10 step pattern they could give anyone to follow...What made the difference was that they from the very beginning were willing to have faith to do the unthinkable and go to Vietnam to do God's work. They didn't start small and work up, they started with something that was so big, that they weren't sure they could accomplish it, but they had to have faith and trust God. And in doing that, in going big, I guess you could call it, they pushed their limits from the very beginning. And in pushing themselves, in being willing to do the unthinkable, reaching out to local ministries became so natural, because they had already done so in such a large way.

That started me thinking about how willing I am to go big for God. Last year when I was looking for my first teaching position I had found a place where I really felt like was right for me. However, Jason and I were two weeks from getting married, neither of us had jobs, and we had no idea where we would be living when we came back from our honeymoon!


(Side note: Good is an amazing provider...In one week he provided jobs and helped us find our first home! It was certainly a lesson of his provision for us in the beginning of our marriage!)

I had not felt very anxious about not having a job/home. I had truly felt peace that God would provide and take care of us in his timing until that 2 week mark hit, and then along with all the craziness of the weeks leading up to a wedding, I started to worry...

I had interviewed at several places and really felt a strong pull to one. It was a dance position, and I felt very comfortable in the interview and with the people I had met at the school. However, I had some holdups with when I would be allowed to take my dance certification test, which was holding up them pursuing me as a candidate. In the meantime I got this great offer from another well respected school district, and with a feeling of responsibility as an adult dependent on my husband and myself, I felt like I could not turn this other offer down with no guarantee of another job.

I had a very challenging year, but it certainly taught me a lot about calling myself to a higher level as a teacher. I also learned a lot about myself. In facing very challenging times, from many trials and errors I learned about my priorities and how to handle very challenging times where I frequently felt in over my head. Unfortunately many of these times I chose to try to press on and conquer it out of my own will and determination instead of falling into the arms of my Savior. I am very thankful for the lessons I learned. I know that that experience happened for a reason, and pray that I was able to touch many of my students' lives, as I know they touched mine.


This year I had the opportunity to find out the position I had felt called to originally was open again, and was blessed to receive the job I have today.

I do believe that as adults sometimes we have to make do with what we have presented to us, and we make our decisions with the information we have at the current time.

I do believe I God molded me and used me where I was.


But thinking back on Sunday, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had been more patient and had enough faith to continue to trust that God would provide in me passing my test and in waiting for this job.

I have had times in the last few years when I have doubted how God was providing for myself in my job and others in my family after the accident. I never doubted that he was taking care of me or them, I just didn't feel like I agreed with how it was being done.

I came to a point where God convicted me to give up my pride in doing things myself, and in questioning his plan. I broke down. I asked forgiveness. And then that morning I felt he called me to give it up, it was amazingly so easy to give it away.

I have yearned for being nearer to God for quite some time, but am in need of continually working on my discipline in doing so.

I felt him speak to my heart Sunday, although I'm not sure for what yet..."If I call you, will you go big for me? Will you continue to trust me in my provision and have faith in my plan for you? That I will take care of you? Will you be encouraged in what I have for you? Will you take joy in it?"

I am blessed right now to believe I am fulfilling a purpose he called me to my freshman year of college as a drill team instructor. I feel a sense of belonging and a call to make a difference.

I'm not sure what God has in store for my path this year or for my life...But he quieted my spirit this past Sunday with the idea from our pastor that if I trust Him on the path that I see in front of me, He will lead me into a journey that is more than I could ever imagine or dream of. And if I trust him in the big things he calls me to do, I will also trust him in the small.

So I want to commit again to give of the reigns and trust God in where He is leading me, and that if He calls me to go big I will go without hesitation and be patient and trust in his timing. And that as times get hard I will fall to him for renewal of my spirit.