Suffering

I found a link to this blog through a friend of a friend, and these words were so beautiful and spoke so much to something I have been struggling with in my heart for the past year and a half that I had to post it...Please read!

http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-deep.html

"The image of Jesus being mocked while he bled and suffered was unbearable today. More so than any other time I have read the story. His words, His shame, His pain...His love is deeper than I can fathom. If you want to feel the Holy Spirit fill you, try something one day. Maybe today if you can make the time. Start by praying for God to reveal Himself in a new way to you, and then read through these words of agony and death, and imagine your face as what He saw. You were worth it. He still believes that. I hope you do too. When God turned away from His Son, and darkness crept across Calvary, He knew your face, your heart, your hurts. They are forever hidden within His wounds.

It always makes me laugh when Abby and Ellie watch Sleeping Beauty. They have seen it no less than 20 times, and yet, when it is time for Aurora's finger to touch the spinning wheel, they cover their eyes and ask over and over, "What is going to happen to her?" The truth is that they know what is going to happen, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. There is time between her bleeding and her waking up. The in-between is where the doubt creeps in. Where you think that evil might just win, and that the great rescue will be stifled.

I know that He will raise up, He will conquer, but when I read about the cross I want to close my eyes until the in-between is over. Today, as I read each scripture, I was struck by something I have never put too much emphasis on before. Jesus did not return to His followers as a healed man. He had scars that told the story, that brought Thomas to belief. He was alive, fully alive, and yet, not unscathed. God chose to use these wounds to remind the world what He had overcome. It seems like if I were the writer of the story, I would heal them completely. Really show people what kind of power I had. Just make it look like it never happened...complete restoration. This isn't what God chose for Christ, and it isn't what He chooses for any one of us. If we are called to suffer in the name of Jesus, we bear scars as well. He doesn't hide them when trouble has passed, but rather He allows our paths to cross with those who want to touch them, to believe in them, to fall into the arms of the one who allowed them to be inflicted.

This is why I write to you all.

I have prayed many, many times that the eyes that read these words will run their fingers along the wounded hands of Christ, letting His suffering tell you the depth of love He has for you.

This life is not about being healed.

It's about bearing wounds for the sake of the One who bore them for us. For you.

As a psychologist, I want to help people face these hard things. To turn them into beautiful gifts to be given back to the Lord.

It is as simple as recognizing that God has chosen your suffering for a purpose, and the splendor of His plan begins to be revealed as we trust Him to do that.

Our scars tell His story to those who need to know HIM. Just a thought to ponder on...